


Team Rocket Raccoon

by AthenaStarsnow



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Gift Fic, Light Rocketshipping, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:21:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22377862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AthenaStarsnow/pseuds/AthenaStarsnow
Summary: Rocket Raccoon suddenly finds himself in the world of Pokémon!This is a request from Reddit. It sounded hilarious so I decided to do it.
Relationships: Groot & Rocket Raccoon, Kojirou | James/Musashi | Jessie
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	Team Rocket Raccoon

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BatmanWhoLaughss](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BatmanWhoLaughss/gifts).



> This was going to be a short 3 chapter story, but I ran out of steam and I just want to be done with it, so I’m making it a one-shot instead.

“Meowth, that’s right!”

Meowth somersaulted in front of Jessie and James, all posing dramatically in front of Ash, Brock and Misty for the millionth time. They stood outside at the foot of the stairs, blocking the trio of twerps from going anywhere fast.

“Team Rocket! You creeps!” Misty yelled.

Ash gritted his teeth. “I can’t believe you were the gift shop employees in disguise!”

Meowth laughed. He still couldn’t believe how dumb these kids were. Their disguises weren’t exactly the best, but somehow these kids kept falling for it. Their trip to the Mossdeep Space Center to steal rare cosmic Pokémon had become more fruitful than they were expecting now that that the most powerful Pikachu they’d ever seen was here.

By a stroke of sheer luck, the runts were visiting the Space Center after Ash’s successful win against the psychic twins Tate and Liza. The only double-battle Gym Leaders in the world had proved a hard-won battle. Now was the perfect time to strike. Team Rocket were nothing if not persistent opportunists.

“Now, hand over that Pikachu!” Jessie demanded. She threw her pokéball and released Arbok, who hissed loudly.

“Or you’ll get a face full of _Toxic Gas_!” James threatened. He released Weezing.

“Don’t worry guys, I’ve got this. Onix! Gooooo!” Brock shouted, tossing out the huge Onix. “Use _Earthquake!_ ”

Jessie and James looked absolutely mortified. Onix cried out, lifted his massive rocky tail, and slammed it into the ground as hard as he could. The earth rumbled below them, and everyone, including the trainers, fell over. Arbok fainted immediately. Pikachu avoided most of the damage by latching onto Ash’s shoulder. Weezing simply laughed.

“Weezing? You’re alright?” James asked. “Oh! I forgot! Weezing doesn’t touch the ground! Hahaha! Weezing! _Toxic_ , now!”

“Wheeezzeee!” Weezing took a big breath and spewed out a noxious purple gas. Jessie, James, and Meowth coughed violently.

“Arrgghh! That stinks!” Meowth complained as he put up a paw to cover his mouth. “Don’t spray us! Spray the Pikachu you hair-brain! I think I’m gonna cough up a hairball!”

“Onix!” Brock yelled. “Time to test out your new move! Use _Iron Tail!_ ” His rocky tail hardened to steel and he spun quicker than expected, slamming into the Rocket trio with as much strength as he could muster.

“Team Rocket —” Jessie yelled.

“— is blasting off —” James screamed.

“— again!” Meowth finished, as they were thrown into the sky, leaving behind nothing but a dazzling gleam.

Instead of flying off into space and landing miles away like they normally would, they smacked straight into a new extraterrestrial detection tower retrofitted to emit gamma radiation.

* * *

_Meanwhile, elsewhere…_

Rocket shot down the slimy lifeform before it could attach itself to the tiny Groot sitting on his shoulder.

“Groot, buddy! You gotta watch out for these things! The little parasites are a pain to get off!”

“I am Groot!” he squeaked.

“I don’t know! But I don’t want to find out!”

“Groooot.”

“Hahaha, that’s a good one!”

“Less talking, more fighting!” Gamora said as she sliced through a giant four-armed alien with her sword. The razor-sharp teeth and long tongue was a hideous sight to behold. Gamora didn’t hold back her strength. The parasite enhanced host could survive blows that would prove fatal to other enemies.

The mission was proving harder than they thought. Symbiotes had infected a research facility. Scientists were always getting into things they shouldn’t.

Star Lord flew by and unleashed a volley of energy bolts from his twin guns into a group of parasites.

“Gotta cut loose… footloose… kick off your Sunday shoes…”

“Peter! Quit singing! Get your head in the game!” Gamora snapped.

“What are you talking about woman?” Drax yelled as he was tackled by a dog-like creature. “This isn’t a game. If we don’t free these people from the Klyntar’s control, the whole planet will be overwhelmed. There is nothing playful about this situation.” He stabbed both his knives into the quadrupedal monstrosity and pulled with all his might, feeling the symbiote try its best to resist its removal from its host. With a mighty roar, it finally tore off of the four-legged alien hound and tried to slither away. Rocket blasted it, while Mantis rushed over to put the wounded beast into a comfortable sleep.

“It means you need to stay focused on the task!”

“He is focused on the task! Do you not remember? Quill fights best when he is singing those wonderful songs! It’s his battle anthem! If you want him to focus, what he needs to do is to stop staring at your butt during battle!”

Gamora shot a dirty look over to Peter, who shrugged. “You’re one to talk! You’ve been staring at Mantis’s butt all battle!”

Drax had never looked more offended.

“I did not! Why would I ever look at such a hideous thing!?”

Mantis frowned. Then smiled at the implication.

“I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again,” Gamora muttered as she sliced up the last of the parasites. “I’m surrounded by idiots.”

The first of the four-armed aliens started to wake up, groaning in pain but still very much alive. “Thank you! That was horrible! I could see and hear everything I was doing, but I couldn’t stop myself. You saved my life!”

“It’s what we do,” Peter said. He stepped forward, his helmet disintegrating, and he put on his best heroic smile. “Guardians of the Galaxy, at your service.”

“The King better not try to under-cut us on the payment,” Rocket said. “I don’t trust half now half later. They always forget the later part.”

Out of the corner of his cybernetically enhanced eye, Rocket caught a flurry of movement.

“Job ain’t done! One more to go!” He readied his gun and activated his jetpack.

“Grooooooot!” Groot laughed, excited by the sudden burst of movement. They flew over to the last of the infected, a rather skinny one, fleeing down a hallway further into the facility.

“Running away? Smart guy. You’re outnumbered and outgunned, pal!” Rocket, and Groot by extension, gave chase and cornered the symbiote who was hiding behind a computer desk in a large white room. Rocket aimed his gun, but before he could pull the trigger, the symbiote pressed a button.

A feminine robotic voice came from a speaker somewhere in the ceiling.

“ _Gamma pulse engaged_.”

Rocket felt a jolt of electricity go through him, and he looked down. They were standing on a large pad. These bastards were researching teleportation technology. No doubt experimental and unstable.

“Oh shit.”

“I’m Groot!”

The world went white around him, he felt the ground fall away from his feet, and he floated into the void.

* * *

Meowth rubbed the back of his head to sooth the pain. Jessie and James were looking worse for wear as well. They took their time getting up to their feet, still wallowing in their inevitable defeat.

“Sometimes I wonder if that Pikachu is worth all this trouble,” James muttered as they started down the road to their next destination. The bright shining sun mocked their sullen faces.

“What are you talking about?” Meowth asked with an incredulous look on his face. “That freak of an electric mouse is more powerful than every other Pokémon we’ve come across! It’ll be worth it!”

“Meowth, don’t take this the wrong way…” Jessie said, running her hands through her wild magenta hair. They were still sore, so their pace was slow. “I think James might be right. I’m getting tired of losing to those brats!”

James offered Jessie a small smile as he dusted some dirt off her shoulder. “Well, at least if we’re losing, we’re losing together.”

“I don’t _want_ to lose together!” Jessie pouted. “I want to _win_ together!”

“I do like the sound of that…” Meowth mused. “But if we have to keep losing, we should lose for ourselves. Not for somebody else. Do you see where I’m going with this?”

Jessie and James stopped in their tracks, looked at Meowth blankly, and shrugged.

“I swear, you two are thicker than a Snorlax sometimes. Okay, say we do eventually capture Pikachu. What comes next?”

“We give it to Giovanni, right? Like we do with all the other Pokémon we’ve stolen,” James answered. He looked over at a puzzled Jessie.

“But if we keep Pikachu to ourselves, even Giovanni couldn’t challenge us. We could start our own criminal empire! We me as the Big Bad Boss! Meowth, the Fat Cat, at the top! I can’t wait to see the look on Persian’s face when he bows down before me!”

Jessie slapped Meowth in the back of the head. “First we’d have to actually catch it for good. We’ve never been able to keep it in custody for than half a day! I say we go looking for new prey! Come on! The future awaits!”

A mile down the road they reached a bush that was shaking violently with two clawed feet flailing around.

“A Pokémon?” Jessie asked. “Maybe our luck is turning around!” A small creature popped out of the bush, coughing and spitting out leaves and dirt.

Jessie and James reached for their pokéballs, but Meowth held up his paw. “You two have done enough today. I’ve got this one!”

* * *

Rocket struggled, fighting his new surroundings. It was dark, and green. He managed to shake himself loose and fell onto soft green grass. The sky above him was a bright blue, and the yellow star in the sky was almost blinding after being inside of that dark laboratory. He shook his head, and stood as still as he could, waiting for the world around him to stop spinning for a second so he could get his damn bearings. He was most certainly on a different planet. The expanse around him was wide and filled with nature. He could see a city off in the distance, and past that, what looked like the edge of either a large lake, or an ocean.

When he finally stopped swaying, he could see three life forms in front of him. It looked like two Terrans, or perhaps Xandarians. Or perhaps Asgardians. Too many aliens looked the same. They wore white and black uniforms with a big red letter “R” insignia on their chest. The third creature he didn’t recognize, but it was covered in fur like himself, and a little bit smaller. He reached for his automatic energy rifle. It never hurt to have deadly ordnance between himself and potential hostiles. He didn’t recognize the R insignia, but perhaps the Ravagers got new matching outfits. Anything was possible these days. His fingers found nothing strapped to his back and cursed when he realized he was unarmed. He always felt naked without heavy weaponry in his hands.

“Groot, did you take my gun?” He looked around for his friend. “Groot?” His heartbeat started to quicken, and he whipped around wildly, scanning the environment with his enhanced sight. There were a few trees around, but none that could move or talk. A sick, sinking feeling bubbled deep in his gut. “Where are you, Groot!?”

“I don’t have a fancy pokédex like that little brat, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen this kind of Pokémon before,” the woman with the incredibly long swirly pink hair said. “It must be native to Hoenn.”

“Oh, Groot…” Rocket sighed.

“What’s a Groot?” the man with the short blue hair asked. “Is it a grass type?”

“Just because it lives in a bush in the forest doesn’t mean it’s a grass type, James,” the woman with the pink hair said, rolling her eyes. “Besides, it’s obviously a Zigzagoon.”

“It doesn’t look like any Zigzagoon I’ve ever seen!” the furry creature said. “I’d say it kind of looks like a Cubone… but there’s no skull helmet. It doesn’t matter what kind of Pokémon this is, Jessie! My _Fury Swipes_ ought to do some damage!” He squatted low, ready to pounce at a moment’s notice.

“Unless it’s Steel type, Meowth,” Jessie warned. “Are you willing to take that chance and break off your claws?” Meowth hesitated.

“Listen up bozos! This is important! Have seen a talking tree around here? About yay high. Answers to Groot. Only says his name.”

Jessie, James, and Meowth’s mouths flew open, their eyes comically wide. They looked like they saw a ghost.

“You… you can talk!?” James asked.

“You’re like me?” Meowth said quietly. “Where’d you learn to talk, Groot?”

“What kind of dumb question is that? I’ve been vocabulating my whole life. And I’m not Groot. I’m looking for Groot!”

“Another Pokémon who learned to talk… it must be powerful!” Jessie said greedily. “Meowth, attack!”

“Gladly!” Before Rocket could react, Meowth leapt forward with claws extended, and flailed his arms. The claws raked Rocket’s fur, and Meowth clung onto him. They rolled to the ground while Rocket tried to pry the crazed thing off him.

“Get off of me, you jerk!”

Meowth sheathed his claws, shouted “Mega Kick!” and kicked Rocket hard in the chest. The wind was knocked out of his lungs and he saw stars.

“Out of the way, Meowth! Pokéball, go!” The crazy lady threw a grenade at him, and he kicked the dirt, trying to scramble away from the imminent shrapnel or energy burst. Thankfully, none of those things happened. The orb smacked him painfully right in the center of his forehead and opened up to reveal a hollow interior. Suddenly he found himself being enveloped in a warm red light, and his body was starting to lengthen, the sign of spaghettification. Galaxy help him. It was a black hole bomb!

The world went white again, for the second time in ten minutes. This was definitely going down as one of the worst days of his life.

* * *

The pokéball stopped shaking, and Jessie leapt into the air in excitement.

“I caught it!” She hooked the pokéball to her belt. “This Groot looks much more useful than—”

“ _Wobbuffet!_ ” Wobbuffet sprung forth.

“Get back in your pokéball!”

“ _Wobb!_ ” He disappeared as quickly as he appeared, and she moved his pokéball to her backside to avoid another interruption.

“Congratulations, Jessie!” James said with big grin. He gave her a giant hug.

“Ahem!” Meowth coughed after a long moment. “You two lovebirds make me sick! I’m the one who did all of the work!” James let go and laughed nervously.

“Of course. Thank you, Meowth,” Jessie stammered, still a little flustered from James’ open show of affection. She wasn’t used to that kind of stuff in front of Meowth. Jessie sighed. Of all the people she could’ve fallen for, it just had to be her co-worker. Didn’t they always say it was a bad idea to date someone you worked with?

But James had been there for her in all the ways nobody else had. He kept her safe and loved, provided for her, and made this grueling organized crime lifestyle far easier. He was a partner-in-crime that she trusted completely, even if he could be a little empty-headed sometimes. Meowth of course, being the third wheel, was always around, and made their fumbling attempt at romance a little bit harder. They had almost no alone time together, just the two of them. So, they’d been taking it exceptionally slow. Jessie liked it that way, and James had voiced the same opinion to her. No need to rush a good thing.

“We should head to the Pokémon Center. If we run into those kids again, we can’t fight with most of our Pokémon knocked out,” James advised. Before entering the city, they changed out of their Rocket uniforms so they wouldn’t be spotted by any police officers.

The doors to the Pokémon Center slid open and they walked up to the front desk where a beautiful bright-pink haired Nurse Joy was waiting with a kind smile. Meowth made a dramatic show of being hurt and in need of love and hopped into Nurse Joy’s arms. He closed his eyes and smiled, purring as he nestled into a comfortable cat nap. Jessie and James handed over the rest of their pokéballs and sat down on the couch in the waiting room lobby.

“I swear, Meowth is almost as bad as Brock,” Jessie commented. They were silent for a while.

James felt something sliding into his hand. He looked down and smiled. Jessie had linked her fingers in between his. Her grip was soft at first, but began to tighten.

“Arbok and Groot will be okay,” James reassured her. “They always are.”

“I know,” she said quietly. “And Weezing will be just fine. They might not have much in the way of attack, but they’re tougher than they look. I know they bounce back. I just worry…” She looked into James’ eyes, trying her best to keep tears from starting. “What if the next time… ends up being the last time?”

“It won’t be,” James said, full of confidence. “Hoenn is on the forefront of Pokémon medical technology. They’re in good hands.”

“So am I, it seems.” Jessie leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder, and closed her eyes.

* * *

Rocket’s head was swimming, his vision was blurrier than ever, and there was an annoying ringing in his ears worse than Quill’s off-pitch singing. Getting sucked into a wormhole will do that to you.

When his head started to clear, he inspected his new surroundings. Or rather, old surroundings. He was back on the ship, sitting in the captain’s chair. His rightful spot. Looking out the window, he didn’t recognize this sector of space at first glance. Not that it really meant anything. Space was a big place. Maybe if he turned the ship around a hundred and eighty degrees, he’d see the floating head of Nowhere. Rocket unbuckled and hopped out of the captain’s seat. As much as Quill liked to pretend that he was the leader of their little group, everybody knew who really called the shots around here.

That little teleportation adventure wasn’t the weirdest thing he’d ever been through, but he was feeling more and more distressed by the minute. And Groot was only about a foot-tall right now, practically a baby. He needed protection.

Looking around, it was obvious that nobody else was on the ship. He walked back to the armory, limping from the injury that insane cat creature gave him, and frowned. Completely empty. Of course. Why couldn’t the universe just give him a break? He made his way up to the bridge and sat back down in the Captain’s chair, typed in the coordinates to Xandar, gripped the wheel, and sighed heavily.

“Might as well try to start the search somewhere familiar and then go from there.” The signal locked on, and he turned the steering wheel and the ship drifted to the right. He blocked his eyes with his arm as a bright star emerged from the edge of the glass. The white light warmed his fur considerably, and the pain in his leg and the claw marks left by Meowth faded away, stitching themselves up before his eyes. He did have an advanced healing factor, but it never usually worked this quickly.

The Galactic Position System was telling him to fly forward, straight into the star. The light brightened further, until his entire vision was whited out again. He was glad that his cybernetics would negate any optical damage from intense light. It was quickly getting old.

He felt a jittering deep in his bones, and he was thrown forward and landed hard in the grass.

“What the hell?” He got up to his feet and surveyed his surroundings. He was back on that strange planet from before, and some strange blue turtle was standing in front of him, propped up on its hind legs. Was he randomly teleporting around residual effects from the accident? Was he going to be glitching around the galaxy like this for the rest of his life?

“What fresh hell is this? What did I do to deserve this!?”

“Squirtle! Use _Bubble Beam!_ ” Squirtle drew in a deep breath, waited a moment, and spewed a stream of bubbles at Rocket. Rocket threw his arms up to defend himself, but they tickled his fur and nothing more.

“Why didn’t Bubble Beam do anything?” Ash complained.

“Ash, big dummy!” The orange haired girl scolded her friend. “You should’ve used the Pokédex before throwing out a random Pokémon before you know what you’re dealing with in a battle!”

“Oh, right!” Ash, smiling sheepishly. He drew out a red scanner device and pointed it at Rocket.

“Rocket. The Cybernetic Raccoon Pokémon. Type: Steel/Fire. Signature Ability: Superior Cybernetic Firepower. All super effective attacks against Rocket are treated as regular effectiveness. Any Normal type move used by Rocket is treated as Steel Type or Fire Type, whichever has more advantage.”

“What the hell is going on?” Rocket asked.

“Wait, I thought your name was Groot!” James said.

“Are you deaf? If told you morons several times. I. Am. Not. Groot. I am looking _for_ Groot. My name is Rocket!”

“Rocket?” Jessie asked, dumbfounded. Okay, that at least settled what species they were. Nobody but Terrans were as stupid as these people were. “Umm… James. Meowth. Do you know Rocket’s moves?”

“Moves? What are you talking about?”

“Ugh… Don’t just stand there! Attack!”

“I don’t like being ordered around, lady. If anyone gives the orders around here, it’s gonna be me.”

“ _Ember! Body Slam! Iron Tail!_ ”

Rocket laughed. “Are you just saying random words right now?”

“ _Flamethrower! Hyper Beam!_ ”

When the words _Hyper Beam_ came out of Jessie’s mouth, suddenly Rocket felt a strange compulsion come over him. He reached around his back and felt the familiar grip of his energy rifle. He smiled, baring sharp fangs. He drew his weapon, aimed it at the blue turtle, and charged up the power to eleven. An enormous stream of multicolored energy burst forth from the barrel, heading straight to the turtle.

“Squirtle! _Withdraw_ , now!” Squirtle drew its arms, legs, and head inside the brown shell right as the _Hyper Beam_ hit him square in the chest. Squirtle went flying backwards, spinning at Ash’s feet.

Rocket felt a weird surge of power flow through him. He felt a little stronger, a little more alert. It was nice to have his weapon back, but why had he shot at that little turtle? The turtle hadn’t pissed him off or owed him units. The only reason he shot was because…

“Groot! I choose you!”

What?

Ash threw a pokéball, and from the red light, a small little tree-man emerged.

“I’m Groot!”

“Groot! You’re alive! Oh, thank the galaxy!” Rocket took a step towards his friend.

“ _Groot! Use Vine Whip!_ ” Ash commanded.

“Grooooot!” Groot shouted as he lifted his little arm. A prehensile vine sprouted out, ready to slap Rocket silly.

“No! Groot! What are you doing?” Groot slashed down, and the vine struck him across the chest, pushing him to the ground and knocking the wind out of him.

Was he dead? In hell? Forced by asshole cosmic beings to fight his best friend for eternity?

“I’m Groot.”

“I know buddy. No apology needed. I can’t control my own body either.”

“Rocket! Use _Hyper Beam_ again!”

He tried to resist. He really did. But against his wishes, his arms moved independently of his brain, and he lifted his rifle. Tears were starting to well up in his eyes. “Groot… I’m so sorry…”

The beam blasted forth again, enveloping baby Groot in a rainbow stream of death. Rocket fell to his knees.

“I’m Groot!” Rocket’s head snapped up to see Groot smiling. He was already regenerating the wound.

“You’re okay!?”

“I am Groooooooot!”

“A Grass type? With a regeneration ability? What the hell does that mean?”

“Groot!”

“What!?” He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Rocket had only just gotten here. But apparently Groot arrived in this parallel universe a whole month ago. He’d been captured by this Ash person and forced to fight strange creatures. He had limited freedom, but when certain command key words were given, his body acted on its own accord.

“I’m gonna get us out of here!”

“Groot, use _Leech Seed!_ ” Groot frowned, and even without words, Rocket knew what he was trying to say: _I’m sorry about this_. Groot threw seeds into the air, and a lot of them landed on Rocket, sticking to his fur like burrs.

“Oh, that’s just gross!”

“Finish him off, Rocket! Use _Fire Blast!_ ”

 _Fire Blast?_ That didn’t sound good. Groot was a sentient tree. Groot and fire didn’t mix very well.

He lifted his rifle again, pointing it at Groot.

_No._

He looked down the sights, and the targeting system locked onto Groot’s cute little face.

_No!_

His finger moved to the trigger, itching to squeeze.

_NO!!!_

“Noooooo!” Rocket roared. He wouldn’t kill his friend! As soon as he pulled the trigger, he broke through the hold, whirled around, and aimed at Jessie, James, and Meowth. A huge explosion of fire erupted from the end of his rifle, and the trio were charred.

“That’s what you get!” He whipped around to face Groot and this Ash bastard who had enslaved his best friend. He smiled wickedly. “Now it’s your turn. Groot, duck!”

Groot dropped to the floor and Rocket unleashed hell. Ash and his two Terran friends, alongside some yellow long-eared mouse thing were as burnt as Team Rocket. Rocket felt that weird growing sensation from before. He didn’t know how he knew, but he was just a little bit stronger, a little bit faster, a little bit tougher. Groot got up and ran over to Rocket, hopping into his outstretched hands.

“It’s going to be alright, buddy. We gotta get out of here.”

Groot smiled and rested his butt on Rocket’s shoulder. “I’m Groot!”

“That’s right. We've gotta get back to our own universe! I'm not losing my family. And if we can't back... Well, there's going to be hell to pay.”


End file.
